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Retiree regrets selling his flat to help son buy a condo.

21 Sep 2016 
SOURCE: A Singapore Stocks Investor

Dear AK,

By chance, I got to know some people who are investors and they told me about you. I enjoy reading your blog but I decided to write to you when I read the blog post, How to have children and a comfortable retirement?

I am a 65 year old retiree. I was a school teacher for all my life until I retired. I am a widower and I have a son who is working in the sales line.

I had a HDB 3 room flat but I sold it a few years ago to help my son buy his matrimonial home, a condominium when he said the flat was too small for us to stay together as a family. I now live with my son and his wife.

Apart from what I have in my CPF, I don't have much savings. I don't get any money from my son as he is struggling financially and his wife who is from China is not well educated and cannot speak English well. She says she is not able to find a job but I think it is because she doesn't want to wait at tables or wash dishes.

The times when I talked to my son about selling his car or convincing his wife to find a job were unpleasant. I now avoid talking about money matters with him and I feel his wife is very cold towards me. It does not feel like home. I spend my days outside and only come home to sleep.

I sold my flat and gave the money to my son because I didn't want to stay alone but I regret my decision to sell my flat and to stay with him and his wife.

I want to share a message with all parents that although we should love our children and try to give them the best but, like you said, we should be pragmatic and not deprive ourselves of a comfortable retirement.

I wish someone had told me this earlier but I am not sure if I would have listened.

Sincerely,
Uncle R

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There are quite a few things I can say in response to Uncle R's situation but I shan't rub salt into his wound. Sometimes, we just need a listening ear.

I hope Uncle R will focus on activities that make his golden years meaningful and happy. I hope he will let go of regret and disappointment.

For what it is worth, I suggested that Uncle R read this blog post:
A simple concept to better mental health.

 

This article first appeared on www.singaporeanstocksinvestor.blogspot.sg 

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